Tuesday, September 2

Morning coffee back to routine 2 with Jim in Lanesville, new boy J.T. christian, no doubt, and John who mumbles that he hasn't seen me for a long time but I gave him a ride last week from the Lanesville Package Store to Willowrest. Read Rizzo's Spiritude, nearly fell off my chair by the time he brought up Moxie what with first and last lines no longer so tied up in eachother. At WBZ newstime 8 o'clock I up and go past the guys in front of the packy up past Judith's house and Ben's and the computer desk on the sidewalk and dill grow out of the crack in the road and everything flowering in the morning mist.

Into my old house with dogs barking and my mother in moon boots I hug her say no to coffee and we start to talk- things are going wrong - I want to tell her not to worry it doesn't matter but it does it all matters. Make a plan when Ralph comes down and talk talk talk like the hum of an old electric type writer buzzzzz with no pause no space for me to talk and I give up blow up what am I supposed to do? I don't have blinders on.

Drive mom's car backto her house check engine light on no windshield washer fluid wipers don't even touch the windshield. Call insurance company call Hamer call opthomologist call doctor call vet call Robert call everyone for my mother. Kitchen is messy with grime from the stove there is no other word for it but grime black and greasy and everywhere. Push it down deep into my toes get rid of dishpan no sponge wash clean dishes again they aren't clean get rid of dish drain try to clean sink wash dishes again and this time a new load. Clean counter of grime and empty bottles and half-full bottles of every kind of thing like lotion and vodka and orange cleaner and flea soap. Throw it all away.

She gives me money and a heart-shaped rock and chopsticks. I try to refuse it all but no use. Ride home car smells of dog. Stop at estate trash pile to look at stuff what might be a rug is fabric wet fabric she gives me some. I take it home to wash it, nice upholstery fabric but wet. Into the wash as soon as I get home.

Upstairs to rest to work I paint my toenails pink and don't answer the phone toenails wet take a bath bake do laundry. I think I'll take a day off from it tomorrow.

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