Saturday, December 27


We are having our famous New Year's Eve party again. We would like you to be there.

Here's the story:
Starting at 7 in the morning we celebrate as each time zone enters the New Year. We drink Vodka for Russia, Singha for Thailand, moonshine from Cape Breton Island for the Maritime Provences.

Food will be served. There will be homemade candy. Homemade sushi. Homemade eggnog. There will be much, much more.

Come for one time zone or stay all day. Kids are welcome, especially before we cross the Atlantic. Come for Greenland, the Akavit will be cold. We will have nonalcoholic beverages as well, for those of us who need them. But not thematic by time zone.

Email if you would like to come. We would love to have you.

Saturday, December 20

Last night in my dream there was a new kind of Moxie, Alpine White. Black Arthur was selling it in a little stand maybe 100 yards past the last entrance to the Seaside Cemetery. The Gibsons were sitting on the old rock. I was bleeding.

Earlier this week I dreamed we were fishing. Not really. We were standing on the beach, but one or two people were in the water. Some large fish were swimming in toward shore, chasing smaller fish in toward the shore. I'm not sure what the smallest kind was, then pogies, then blue fish. I am deathly afraid of bluefish and was very nervous for whomever was treading water, mostly for the safety of their toes. The fish were jumping onto the beach and because it seemed like there was no other appropriate thing to do we were gathering them.

My sister gave birth on Thursday to her fifth boy. I had the other four, from 18 months to 7 years of age. Early in the morning on Thursday until a little past noon on Friday. They wore me out and I am coming down with a cold. Elijah (the youngest) moves things- bath salts are now in the bedroom. A bowl of fruit loops in the hall. Playmobile everywhere. I found a pair of socks stuffed under the heater in the bedroom this morning. I will be finding things for some time to come.

I have been so tired lately, too tired even to knit. This is no good what with Christmas coming and so many things left to make. I am thinking that Christmas presents will turn into Groundhog Day presents or Valentine's Day presents. Maybe I'll just wait for the Epiphany. My intentions are good but really I am worn out.

Tuesday, December 16

I'm cold and I can't seem to get anything done. Slow slow slow, I am so slow today.
No crush list this week, I have other things on my mind... of course there are the eternal crushes, you know who you are...

Jim's Eagles were on last night, more fun to watch football with the boys than without them. Seamus says the snow is crispy like a cracker. Today it is all ice. Houses built in the past couple of years have changed the drainage up on Squam Hill. The roads below it are all crusted over with layers of ice. Bridge Street is a sheet of smooth ice, absent of ruts other ice in Annisquam has. The driveway here at work is super slippery. The storm door blew off of the store. The office is just starting to warm up.

I'm off to work now. I'll be back if I get a lot of books cataloged.

Saturday, December 13

Trying to make room for the holidays in an apartment with way too much stuff. We found the perfect angel for on top of the tree today, something to replace the white dove who has lost his eyes over the years. A skeleton fiddler with wings.

Looked for a meat-of-the-month club for my brother. I know meat is bad but he sure likes it. Turns out meat is more of a corporate gift- I found "corporate gift plans" that would deliver a different meat each month for only $399-$600.

Gata just bit the soft part of my arm.

What a funny season this is. In one store in Portsmouth we heard Disintegration, but it was drowned out by bad carols every time the door opened. Rampant holiday shopping and anti-war rally collide. The middle-class in Starbucks, the rich shopping in quieter side streets. Fancy underwear and "art" stores.

I recommend buying used for the holiday. So much depends on us spending every red cent over these few months. Why not support the people on the fringes of society who make their living selling things they've picked up at yard sales? It's all about redemption.

Wednesday, December 10

At work, taking orders and mailing books from Maritime List 148. I wonder if all of you who work at universities know the people I have been talking at the libraries.

I can't seem to get warm today. Left the car for James downtown and toof a bus to work. Of course, with all the snow around th ebus got stuck on Main St. and was about 15 minutes late. By the time I got to work my feet were wet from the snow and puddles and so so cold. Nearly 4 hours later they are finally not wet or frozen.

I've got to wrap books before the UPS man comes.

Tuesday, December 9

Didn't get to write after dinner, didn't get wooed half enough. Here is this week's poetic crush list.

10.Dan Bouchard
9. Nick Piombino
8. Shin Yu Pai
7. Jim Behrle
6. Joel Sloman
5. Mike County
4. Jim Dunn
3. Gerrit Lansing
2. Xtina Strong
1. Ed Barrett

Monday, December 8

I am leaving work soon, off to have dinner at my da's. Been thinking about my crush list for this week. Woo soon, there isn't much time...

Sunday, December 7

It's hard to be this vulnerable. I spend my time pretending poemd are written for me even when I know they aren't. So what if my name isn't Maria? My name could always be Maria.

I volunteer to teach Xtina about sports for when she marries that Harvard meathead. As with most things it is a matter of language and logic. Learn the language first. "Pooch kick" the ball, down it at the one-yard line. Run the clock down. It's as easy as pie.*

It is important to note here that Xtina is not marryinga Harvard meathead anymore than the poems I have been reading are about me. If she were to do so, however, her being a master of language and logic would certainly help her understand sports.

James says this sounds mean. I certainly don't mean it to be. If anything I am looking to convert another girl to the world of football. And baseball. And real football. Or just to hang out with Xtina more.

*I also volunteer to teach Xtina how to bake pie.
Watching the snow fall and the tide surge- water halfway to the cherry tree, surely salting my squash garden. Last night in my dream I drove my car into the water somewhere near the State Fish Pier. My brother’s house was on the water near Rocky Neck. He had his own ramp and I was trying to push the car out of the water and up the ramp but they were having a barbecue and didn’t want me to push my car into their yard, never mind help me. I was sure if I could just get my car out of the water it would be fine—I would then submerge it in rubbing alcohol, which would displace the water and then evaporate.

I also saw a friend in the dream, a friend who is due to have a baby any day now. I have only seen her once in the past year or two. In the dream she was in overall, denim overalls, as she often is.

More overalls in my dream. Racks of corduroy and moleskin overalls that would make good gifts for Amanda Babson. Last night I walked in the snow down to her parents’ house to help her mother put the three layers of a quilt together. Lights flickering on and off and us on the floor of the living room, having moved all of Aunt Jill’s furniture to the side, smoothing the wrinkles out of the cotton batting. It is a beautiful quilt- square of bright batiks for Dave and Annalei’s wooden house.

When the electricity went out for a few hours last night I tried to make cookies and coffee over candle flames. Mostly for fun. The coffee never was finished, but it could have been if I were willing to wait another hour or two. Cookies bake unevenly over an open flame.

It’s hard not to fall for Mike County when he writes like this.

James is concerned with the amount of football I have been watching. Today I hope to finish a sock for my brother before the first game is over so I can knit something fun during the Pats game. I even watched college football yesterday. Of course, I was making pot holders at the time.

Saturday, December 6

The snow is piling up out there. After nearly denouncing Christmas my grandfather got a tree and began to decorate. While I was at the hardware store getting new fuses for his light the electricity went out. Armed with a flashlight from their emergency kit I found them anyway. Got out by pulling the usually-automatic doors apart.

Can't find some books at work that are in the next catalog. Don't know who is supposed to plow there but I had to leave before I was snowed in. Received an order from a man named Snow.

James says we should cut the tree across the way down for Christmas. I assure him it would be noticed. Last spring the neighbor asked my grandfather if he could cut it down to improve their view. He said no and in that instant, thinking that maybe he wasn't being such a nice neighbor, told him that i was my grandmother's favorite tree. I assure you it wasn't.

I wish the leftovers in my fridge were gone. I would like to cook some nice new food but don't think I can because to waste food is bad. They aren't even my leftovers, most of them. I want to make a big pot of spinach oatmeal soup.

I have a hard time saying I am fine lately, even if it is true. Such a delicate balance. So many things could go wrong I feel like I should at least be prepared. That seems better than being very very happy and being blindsided.

Friday, December 5

Lovely dinner with J and M and Z and two of the boys are still talking but I am sleepy and will be going to bed...

Wednesday, December 3

Bibliogal was talking about dangling words... I want to say here that I love the lettering of signatures in uppercase then lowercase then AA and aa and mmmix(meaning the ninth page of signature mmm). I sold a book at the Garage fair (now held at the Hyatt)from Bartleby's booth (we share a booth, the he and G do the big fair at the Hynes). I forget the title or the author, something scientific with a small hole in one of the pages. The man who bought the book was impressed when I was able to find the page. He didn't realize the signatures were lettered.

I think Bibliogal would like Kenneth Karmoile's books. His books are pretty. White books, they call them, bound in vellum instead of leather. White books travel better than brown books. Brown books make red dust. But modern firsts pack easily.

Tuesday, December 2

My mom followed me to work today. She came in through the house not the office and talked to me there in the kitchen. I couldn't keep myself from looking at the triptych of G mowing around Galen's grave. Galen's grave. I don't go there as much as I should or as much as I want to, just down the street but I haven't felt safe there for years. Always looking over my shoulder. We used to ride bikes there, the lot of us, but it is filling in now with graves. Galen then Will then Norma and who else? I haven't been, I don't know. And it is December now. I would leave the country if I could.
I've done some turkey manipulation this evening that has me questioning why...

I am a firm advocate of trading leftovers but I may have gone too far today. When I offered to take some from my sister so they wouldn't go to waste I got more than I bargained for.

2 gallon bags of turkey
a bowl of Greek stuffing (rice, tomato, meat, raisons, etc.)
a bag of more traditional stuffing
squash and sweet potato soup with pancetta

Some turkey cut for a pot pie, wings and drumstcks in a pot to make a broth. Boil and bubble, toil and trouble. Joy of Cooking barbecue sauce (a little pungent, methinks).
Have you ever had pulled turkey in barbecue sauce? Me neither, but it is on the stove now. Pot pie with a gravy made with minced onions and mushrooms and the broth from the bones.

I have seen so much turkey tonight I don't think I can eat any of it.

On another note, someone got here searching for American politicians with fish names.
At work and I have hit a wall. Not enough time to start something new but too early to pick up James so I am counting myself out and spending a little time here. Car inspection gods looked kindly on me this morning and I got an extra month again this year. Went to my sister's for an Elijah fix. Drank tea as the kids played in the snow. How nice for them to be able to just go out in the snow! All over town kids look longingly out elementary school windows at the falling snow while my sister's boys are gathering enough snow for a foot-tall snowman.

Monday, December 1

Been a while, holidays and all. I've been taking a little break from the computer but I thought I should post this week's crush list at least. Just in case you checked.

10. John Mulroney
9. Mark Lamoureux
8. Mick Carr
7. Yuri Hospodar
6. Joel Sloman
5. Xtina Strong
4. Jim Behrle
3. Nick Piombino
2. Mike County
1. Gerrit Lansing

I've had some very long posts but they have been written in my head and we haven't got the interface yet for that sort of thing. Really I need a keyboard at the sink so I can write while doing the dishes.

Getting ready for the next holiday is a little scary. What to make? What to buy? Didn't buy a thing on Friday, not even a soda.

Had a lovely time on Saturday night. I might have more to say, I might not, but I want to say at least how happy I was to meet and see everyone.

I've got to update my Shameful List. Tonight alone I started two more things.

Julia, if you read this, I finished the collar of the purple sweater. Thanks for asking.