Well, I found the cat. And I did a lot of cleaning. I feel a lot better, but I doubt I will make it to work. Something's gotta give.

Sometimes I just don't know where I belong. I feel a little spread out.

The dishes are done, and I have taken one oh my grandfather's empty garbage cans. I am giving myself until noon to get over this bad domestic day. Pavement is pretty good for this mood. I wish I knew where the cat was.

Sonic Youth and Belle and Sebastian are good for housecleaning. Low makes me want to stop. Stop everything. Bob Dylan makes me feel eternally wronged.

Last week while we were away the cat knocked over a vase next to the computer that was full of pens and pencils. I thought the glass was gone. I guess it was just the big pieces, not the shards like the one I just stepped on. I guess i was wrong.

NPR is off. Robohead is on. Maybe good music can save the day.

Sometimes it is no good being a wife. A housewife, I guess I should say, just for clarity. Last week when James had vacation we did a lot and had a good time. But the daily duties were left undone and, oddly enough, they are still undone. So after a week of fun I am behind on the housework, regular work, and everything else I try to do. This is the big problem. It doesn't matter what I do, I still have to do the rest of it. If I had spent the weekend writing there would still be laundry. Even if I had practiced the violin the sink would be full of dishes.

My cat hates me. I have no idea where she is.

There is no food. I didn't get the trash or recycling out last week, so the barrel is full and I have a ton of crap to get out of the house. I have so much I want to do. I can't do it until I find my house under all this crap.

Ugh. I didn't have the brainpower to blog Sunday or Monday. Last week seems to have let me far behind in most aspects of life, most obviously in matters of work and household. I have a lot to catch up on. Sunday nearly killed me. The egg hunt was grand, but I think I must have gotten a bit of sun poisoning or something, because all of yesterday it took all my effort not to just fall over. I hrdly got athing done. My nephews were here for a good part of the day, and that didn't help my productivity. But it was fun.

Oh, and Celtic beat Rangers Sunday. Woohoo!

We just got home from poetry at MIT. I was going to write apoem here tonight but my head is collapsing. Here is my stance on poetry: I like my friends' poetry, because I trust they aren't just fucking with me. I can like other poetry, but that's all by chance.

I forgot to mention earlier that my peas have started to come up. So far they are just little bits of green, but they really do grow fast once they germinate. I don't think my grandfather considers it yard work unless you end up bleeding. Earlier he made sure I was snagged by the thorns on a rose branch I was trying to get off him.

I really like the new White Stripes album.

Today has already been much more productive than yesterday. I finished the yarn, potted some plants, cleaned up the yard and planted some spinach in the garden. All the dishes are done. The weather is gloomy but I don't mind.

I took my yarn out of the dye this morning and it looks great. I wish I had photographs of the different stages, cuz it looked pretty cool hanging by the sink, and now twisted into skeins on the counter. I am now dying the rest of the fisherman's wool I have, some more in egg dye, and one batch in Crystal Light. I have to clean the yard up some today for the egg hunt tomorrow. I talked to my sister and she assures me there will be a lot of kids there.

I guess I should get dressed and go outside.

James is home. G'night.

I think I should cancel my reading at the 70 at MIT thing. No, wait, I'm not reading. I miss out on all the cool stuff. I guess maybe I should start writing if I want to be a writer. How else will I ever end up on Jim's crush list? I never will. Oh well. BBC is telling me the latest on football. Oh football. I've been reading Jim's blog. I should do so much more. Does anybody read this? Maybe I should have a list. I need more blog lists.

I just heard hte whstle of the last train coming down the river. I forgot I could listen for that. Maybe James will be home soon.

I’m tired now, but I won’t go to sleep until James gets home.

The past few days have been busy. Northampton was fun, although I would have enjoyed it more when I was 14. I would have found so much more cool and exciting. I got a new book of fiddle songs and a couple of baskets. James got some music and some books. It was nice to walk around town. Maybe next time we will have more time.

Yo La Tengo was good. I have to say I enjoy their songs more than the noise. Sometimes I think it goes on too long, and I am such a sucker for pop songs that I have a hard time paying attention. The fault is mine, really. I also think I am a lazy listener when I am sitting down. I get so much more into it when I am standing up. At any rate it was still a great show.

Then yesterday there was the Celtic- Boa Vista match. Woohoo! The Bhoys did well, advancing to the UEFA Cup Final. I hope they play better on Sunday. We were at the Kinvara from 2:30 to 9 and I hardly knit a stitch. I was driving so I couldn’t celebrate as liberally as the rest of the club. I’ll make up for that at the Final.

We got over to the Middle East to see the opening act finish up (I forget their name) before Throwing Muses came on. That was a good show. We stood at the back (the show was downstairs). I haven’t done that for a long time. Usually I try to get up close because I am so short and there are so many tall people in the world. Last night we were so tired when we got there.

I didn’t get much done today. I slept late. I went to work to get something to do at home. I filled eggs for the Easter Egg Hunt. I colored eggs, then used the leftover dye to dye some yarn. Jen came over. We had dinner and watched Coupling, etc. I paid bills. I had big plans for the day and didn’t follow through on much of what I had planned. So it goes.

Gata got outside tonight. I think it was her first time. After searching for her downstairs I spent a good amount of time outside looking for her. I finally heard her meowing from JB’s side yard. She was pretty scared when I found her. Now she is sleeping next to the computer. I’ve got to get some tags for her.

James said he was going to catch the 10:40 train, but he isn’t home yet. I am trying not to worry until it is after he should be home if he were to catch the last train.

Good night all. I am going to wait in bed and get some knitting done. I started a little baby sweater on the way to Northampton. I think I can finish it in a few days if I work on it. Sleep tight.

I did clean yesterday. And I cooked some yummy food.

I now have a ton of stuff for the Easter Egg Hunt on Sunday. I definitely over did it.

James and I are headed out to Northampton tonight to see Yo La Tengo. Tomorrow is the second leg of the Celtic-BoaVista clash, so we have to get back to Boston by 3. I really should be getting ready now. Oh well.

We spent the weekend in Kingston. Had a lovely time witht he inlaws. Yesterday we drove my cousin Anne and her fiancee to Hopkinton so he could run the marathon. They were planning on him finishing in 3 1/2 hours so they could catch a flight to California. I wonder how that worked out.

My radishes have germinated, and a couple of peas as well. The lettuce is looking good.

Today I am going to clean the house. Honest.

James and I had breakfast out and now my tummy hurts. Just a little. It could have been the tons of coffee, but I am guessing it was seeing a table of 5 or 6 grown women come in with bunny ears.

I had some blood taken for a blood test this morning. My arm has been a little achy all day. Usually I don't have any problem, but using my fingers so much may have had something to do it.

The cat's taken to sitting on top of the fish tank.

There were 5 abandoned bicycles along the road to work. And a telephone. I spent 15 minutes of the walk thinking about ways i could make my mother's house livable if i should ever live there. Got that selkie feeling passing the umass marine station. Outside the Lanesville Packy I ran into a bunck of old faces. Randy, who is in the police notes evry time I read the paper. His dad used to beat the crap out of him. John, who had a little girl a couple months ago. A Pistenmea, I think, but I can't remember his name. Nate, maybe. More than I could handle.

I woke up ina worse mood than I went to bed. I feel like my head is in some sort of clamp. James has the car today so I have to walk to work. It is a beautiful day. I think the walk will be lovely if my neck can support my head, which feels as heavy as a watermelon.

It is getting late now, I had hoped to be in bed by now. It's just that I am so tired. And the Red Sox bullpen will take years off your life.

I'm a little grumpy about blogs and intellectual life. I was reading Jim's blog the other day and there is an awful lot of thought on it. Mine is just a list of what I am doing. Should I be thinking more? Am I thinking more and not writing about what I am thinking? Is my life all doing dishes and knitting? I finished a legwarmer. Isn't that good for anything?

My husband has a blog now. He didn't tell me for days, which is perfectly fine, I guess. It just makes me grumpy that he would talk about my blog and not tell me about his. I'm sure it is full of more thoughts than mine.

I signed up for all these Yahoo groups and now I have to read a ton of email about yarn and knitting. I think I will quit all of them.

Does it count as cleaning the kitchen if it is nearly clean to begin with? What the hell does it matter?

Right now I am regretting my new rule about blogging when I check my email. It is warn out, I am happy about it. I have a lot of work to get done ina little time. So goes the world.

Just did our taxes.

I found an old fake book of old standards and tried to play them on violin. I got a few of them pretty well down, then decided to try to find music for 'You'll Never Walk Alone'. Then I nearly bought a snare drum on ebay. I'd better go to bed.

I should have worn gloves while pruning the roses.

On the way to pick James up I happened to go to two garden stores and get a bunch of plants-- pansies, lettuce, oregano and rosemary. So bright and cheery. The only thing that could make this day of working in the garden any better would be a baseball game onthe radio.

No word from Gerrit, so I went out into the garden. 40 pounds of dehydrated manure later it is ready for peas, which I will plant after I pick James up.. I think I will also put some lettuce, radishes and beets in. My fence still needs to be built. I think I will do that last.

When I went to get the manure I saw a fantastic bird on Washington Street. The pond had spread itself out over the road and there, swimming in the middle of the street, was a huge black bird.

I'm going to try to write evry time I check my email. This will either lead to lots of writing or never checking my mail.

I've had a productive morning with my new list of things to do. The kitchen and bathroom have been cleaned, and I am about to practice the violin. I am waiting to hear from Gerrit. I may go over to his house this morning, if he calls. If not I will end up out in the garden.

My husband thinks I am slacking with my blog. I can just add this to the list of things I am slacking on-- violin, piano, poetry, housekeping, sewing, gardening, writing letters, etc. There is so much more. I think only two people ever look at this anyway. They are very important people, but they know me well enough to expect me to be a slacker.

I went to Target tonight and bought seeds. There are better places to go for seeds, but none that Ican think of that were open on Sunday night. I nearly talked myself into getting this little bird for the garden but talked myself out of it. It really would have been bad. Next thing you know I would have little rocks that say things like 'peace' and 'dream' on them. I bought some more peas, nasturtiums, broccoli, sweet basil and Canterbury Bells. Tomorrow I am going to get some peat moss and manure so I can get my garden going.

I'm going to cut the size of the rug I am making down. I don't think I will ever get it done if I leave it big.

I just found a great old binder filled with really nice paper.

I am so bored it is unbelievable. Today is my third day in the store. I don't think I could handle this for long; it is a good thing I usually don't. I have a lot of work to do but I've just lost all my steam. James is sick and I am starting to feel gross too. It's a good thing I got a lot of work done in the past two days

Another day of rain and snow, but I am in better spirits today. Not altogether happy yet, but hoping things will only continue to get better. Although it snowed for most of the day, lawns and sidewalks seem to have been cleared by some miraculous source of heat. I had a nice lunch with my father, wandered around downtown for a bit, then met Gerrit for coffee. He encouraged me to go get a haircut, which I did. Hopefully the sacrifice of some of my hair will bring spring.

I read 'A Pair of Blue Eyes' by Thomas Hardy last night and the night before. I should know better than to start a novel. I am not very good at putting books down. Last night I stayed up until 2 reading. I am tired today from it. I almost started another book today, one by Anatole France (chosen because of the nice illustrated edition I found and the mention of France in Good Morning Midnight). I was saved from having to read the book all at once. After reading the first page I tried to turn to the next and found that many of the pages were uncut. Since I didn't have a knife with me, I couldn't read any further. Thank goodness.

Tomorrow I am off to Boston to watch Celtic play in the Uefa Cup Semifinals. Woohoo. I have piano in themorning, which is a little troubling since I haven't practiced yet. I should make sure to do that this evening.

I am having the grumpiest day on record for quite some time. So so so so grumpy.

I'm at my dad's at a birthday party for Andrew, who has just turned 6. My sister Sam and I are trying to out-cool eachother with websites. She thinks she is winning. I got tons of stuff for my Easter Egg hunt, and Elizabeth and I went shopping a little because the computer here is faster than mine at home.

This kid is bugging my sister 'cuz he is lame.

I'm going to go show her another cool site.

I can't believe there is more snow. Suck suck suck. Just when I thought I was out of the winter doldrums winter decides it hasn't had enough of me. Hah hah. That joke's not funny anymore.

This morning Spring is more obvious. Tiny flowers mark the walk from home to work, and my cheeks are not as rosy as Monday. I've been very productive lately. I've been working a lot, practicing both violin and piano, and getting outside whenever I can. The Red Sox won last night. Things are looking up.